MORE of the Same

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Starring Michael Douglas, Shia LeBeouf, Carey Mulligan, Josh Brolin, Frank Langella, Eli Wallach, Susan Sarandon
Directed by Oliver Stone

This film scrolls along like a Stock Market ticker rolling across the bottom of your television screen when watching CNN or some other cable news channel. And like that ticker’s measurement of the up and down vacillations of the market, this film’s ticker similarly documents the film’s pluses and minuses as its running time unspools. Below are some tickers and their translations from various moments of Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps.


LABFX.CKY.TC 10K @ MC-NYC ? 35
Shia LeBeouf (who plays Jacob Moore) apes a cockily-clichéd Tom Cruise-like Wall Street go-getter (times 10 thousand) as he darts around New York on his motorcycle, attends trendy parties, and relishes in Wall Street’s opulent lifestyle, which brings the film down by 35 points

DGLS.GK.CP 90K @ HUM ? 72
Michael Douglas, reprising his sinister-silky role as Gordon Gekko, is seen being released from prison where his personal items are returned — including a humorously bulky and antiquated 90s version of a cell phone, which boosts the film’s enjoyment by 72 points

BTDT.ECON.WS -2008K ? 82
There is an air of “been there, done that” to the whole film in that it realistically revisits the economic turmoil of the stock market of 2008 (including the Congressional bailout and imploded investment firms), which brings the film down by 82 points

WNGK.GF.SP 2X ? 23.1
Of course, Winnie Gekko, Gordon’s daughter, is the girlfriend of Jacob and is a socially progressive anti-Wall Street type so that there can be plenty of dramatic friction (times 2), which brings the film down by 23.1 points

COMP.X 100X @ WS ? 11
The film is so complex with hundreds of Wall Street references to stocks and trading and companies and so on (times 100) that it is hard to follow at times, which brings the film down another 11 points

GKGY.UKWN.COMM 50-50 ? 50-50
It is unknown whether Gordon Gekko, a bad guy from the original film, is now a “good guy” in that he seems to be a scathing critic and lecturing commentator of the evils of the hyper-greed of the current brokers and investors — but can we trust that? As this is unclear, it keeps us guessing throughout so this is a wash

FUSHD.EGY +1BMW @ 7T ? 37
Instead of an airline, the economic activity at issue here is renewable energy — specifically fusion energy — and what that can bring both in terms of billions of megawatts (for the social progressives) and trillions of dollars (for the market speculators), this aspect (although hyper-trendy) still boosts the film by 37 points

GYBG.MH.PRCY ? 15
The film’s bad guys (those who seek vengeance by raiding and destroying other investment firms for their own personal satisfaction and wealth accumulation) are blatantly bad, but the “good guys” are very morally hazardous in that they engage in the same “bad guy tactics” of market manipulation to bring down the bad guys and boost their own market shares and chances for success and love, which brings the film down by 15 points

LABFX.BOHO @ 5K ? 96TD
Shia LeBeouf does a lot of “boo-hoo” crying in this film, but he is not up to the acting challenge by 5 thousand times, so the film is docked by 96 tear drops

WNGK.GGK.LVHT @ 50-50H-C ? 50 ? 50
Winnie Gekko and Gordon Gekko have a number of father/daughter scenes that effectively and poignantly show their troubled history, but they both also engage in some wildly inexplicable behavior in relation to each other at other times — this odd “50-50” “hot-cold” behavior results in both positive and negative filmic reactions

DBCS.1LNRS @ FUN.X.100 ? 85
The double-crossing and “one liners” and speeches in the film — as well as the indignation about the greed of Wall Street — are what keep this enjoyable, fun and watchable (times 100), giving the film an upward bump by 85 points before this next ticker scrolls across. . .

OLST.HMER.EVWS-GDBM @ 100X ? 1050
Director Oliver Stone (who has a politically liberal reputation) uses this film to “hammer” us over the head (by 100 times) with the message of the evils of a greedy, unscrupulous, under-regulated, and empty paper pushing Wall Street versus the importance of creating “goods” for the betterment of families and mankind — such obvious, simplistic and sappy messaging results in a filmic stock “crash”

Doug Young’s creativity (times 100) boosts this film review by 500 points.