Whistle while you watch


Escape from Tomorrow

Starring Roy Abramsohn, Elena Schuber, Katelynn Rodriguez; directed by Randy Moore

This week’s column is written to the Disney songs “A Spoonful of Sugar” from Mary Poppins and “It’s a Small World” from the Disneyland ride, both written by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman, with apologies to them and Disney.

Roy Abramsohn and Katelynn Rodriguez in Escape from Tomorrow.
Photo courtesy of Producers Distribution Agency

A Spoonful of Hokum

In every film that must be spun
There is an element of stun
You find the stun and snap!
The film’s real lame

And every film you might partake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree!
It’s very clear to me

That a...
Spoonful of hokum helps the silly plot go down
The silly plot go down-wown
The silly plot go down
Just a spoonful of hokum helps the silly plot go down
In a most regretful way

A father at Disney’s park fest
Becomes an endurance test
While losing all his
Wits and mind and kids

Though quite intent in his pursuit
Of young girls derrieres to boot
He knows the slog
Will drag this mess along

For a...
Spoonful of nasty helps this crazy thing go down
This crazy thing go down-wown
This crazy thing go down
Just a spoonful of nasty helps this crazy thing go down
In a most unpleasant way

[Interlude]

The story sees him retch and bicker
With his lovelies as they roam
Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro
Because they throw a little fit
For every dull ride that they skip

And hence (And hence),
We find (We find)
This film is a real grind

Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h ah!

A spoonful of nutty helps the goofiness go down
The goofiness go down-wown
The goofiness go down
Just a spoonful of nutty helps the goofiness go down
In a most displeasing way
It’s a Small Film

It’s a film of weirdness, a film of jeers
It’s a film of dopes and a film of sneers
There’s very little that’s there so we do not care
It’s a small film after all

It’s a small film after all
It’s a thin film after all
It’s a trite film after all
It’s a slight, slight film

It’s a film at Disney, them unawares
It’s a place of demons, a place of fears
There’s so much blandness that it’s barely even there
It’s a small film after all

It’s a small film after all
Not a Lynch film after all
It’s a weak film after all
It’s a small, small film

It’s a flat film after all
It’s a dull film after all
It’s a null film after all
It’s a null film after all

No escapin' it, Doug Young is one imaginative film critic! He also serves in the Hickenlooper administration as senior policy director.