Politi-Flix

Savage weed

Due to the nature of the film Savages, the following initiative was submitted to the Colorado Title Board for inclusion on the state ballot this November. Regrettably, it failed to get the requisite number of signatures as film critics were too baked to be bothered to collect them.

Cinematic alien immigrants

The following legislation has been introduced to help citizens immigrate into movie houses to see the films Prometheus and Men in Black III.

Cannes 2012: In the glare of the euro crisis

MEMO

To: The 2012 Cannes Film Festival Leadership
From: A Supportive Fan
Date: May 14-27, 2012
Re: Rebuffing Filmic Austerity Measures

Critical (superhero) mass

The Avengers

Starring Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston; directed by Joss Wheden

Bullied by Bully


Bully

A documentary about the tragic and painful effects of grade school bullying; directed by Lee Hirsch

I was bullied by the film Bully.

It gave me pink belly until I got nauseous with its unceasing jittery camera movements, as if it were filmed on an iPhone.

YOUNG: I SPEAK FOR THE MOVIES

The Lorax

Starring the voices of Danny DeVito, Zac Efron, Taylor Swift, Ed Helms, Betty White; directed by Chris Renaud, Kyle Balda

Say hello to Kevin and Michael


We Need to Talk About Kevin
Starring Tilda Swinton, John C. Reilly, Ezra Miller; directed by Lynn Ramsay

Michael
Starring Michael Fuith, David Rauchenberger; directed by Markus Schleinzer

A filmgoer’s choice

A Separation

Starring Leila Hatami, Peyman Moaadi, Shahab Hosseini, Sareh Bayat and Sarina Farhadi; directed by Asghar Farhadi